


write my own line

by canlah



Series: felt so crystal [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5019724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canlah/pseuds/canlah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama’s never been so good with his words. Sometimes he can’t find them at all, sometimes the wrong ones just trip out of his mouth. </p><p>Volleyball doesn’t really need him to talk, though, not beyond knowing his teammate’s names. And it’s fine, because he’s good at volleyball, so it doesn’t matter if he’s not good with words- and by extension, people. Until he gets to Karasuno.</p>
            </blockquote>





	write my own line

Kageyama’s never been so good with his words. Sometimes he can’t find them at all, sometimes the wrong ones just trip out of his mouth.

Volleyball doesn’t really need him to talk, though, not beyond knowing his teammate’s names. And it’s fine, because he’s _good_ at volleyball, so it doesn’t matter if he’s not good with words- and by extension, people. Until he gets to Karasuno.

Suddenly, it doesn’t matter that he’s a genius, that he plays volleyball like he breathes and it’s all that _pipsqueaks_ fault. Suddenly, it matters a whole lot that Kageyama doesn’t communicate well and it’s _frustrating_ , so much so that it’s hard to think about anything else.

But then it turns out that the shortie ( _Hinata_ , he reminds himself) wants to play volleyball just as much as he does, is just as determined to play as Kageyama. He’s not a genius, he can barely even receive the ball- his goal of becoming Karasuno’s ace is laughable at best. Kageyama quickly realises is doesn’t matter, because Hinata is determined to do whatever it takes to keep up with the others. Including working with him.

Talking to Hinata is actually easier than he expected, because Hinata talks using mostly ‘gwuhs’ and ‘bwahs’. Once he catches on to what Hinata’s referring to, it’s pretty straightforward. It’s actually kind of fun, talking to someone who knows exactly what he means, is trying to give him exactly what he wants. Even if he does fail 9/10, there is no doubt in Kageyama’s mind that Hinata is trying his best and Kageyama is trying to appreciate that, but it’s _hard_ , because he just _wants to play volleyball._

It’s a work in progress.

* * *

 

Sometimes, Kageyama feels like he’s missing something. Like that time he went to get a milk box and came back to see Ennoshita leaving as quickly as he could and Hinata looking like he was about to throw up. At first, he thought that maybe Hinata was being bullied but immediately dismissed the idea because Ennoshita was the last person to _bully_ anyone and anyways, Hinata wouldn’t be able to hide it if he was being bullied, especially not from Kageyama- they spend too much time together playing volleyball for that.

There are other things too, like how he never changes in front of the others, but Kageyama can put that down to just being one of Hinata’s quirks, he’s probably just shy, and Kageyama is learning that it’s easier to keep conversations going with people when you don’t bring up topics that they avoid. Kageyama’s learnt a lot of things by spending so much time with Hinata, actually. Like how if he’s really nervous and accidentally speaks a little too loudly (Hinata said _yells_ but he didn’t _yell_ it was _one time okay_ ) then he will probably scare the person asking to borrow a pencil.

Kageyama wonders if they’re at the point where he can refer to Hinata as his _friend._

* * *

Hinata loves the gym. It’s not a secret, anyone can see it, the way his already excited expression somehow lights up even further. He moves twice as fast, his gestures are even wider.

Kageyama used to think it was silly, how just being in a different room had such an effect. What did it matter where they practised? One could play volleyball anywhere. Little by little, though, he’s starting to see why Hinata loves it so much. When he thinks of the gym, he hears the squeak of shoes against the polished floor, the slap of palms against the ball, against each other after a point is scored.

The gym is Tanaka’s laughter and Noya’s excitement, it’s Suga’s smile and Daichi’s warmth. Ennoshita’s quips and Takeda’s awe and Ukai’s gruff pleasure, Kageyama even accepts the sneers and stutters of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi that have their own place in the gym.

Kageyama understands that Hinata loves the gym. What he doesn’t understand is how Hinata has made _him_ love it too. What did Hinata do differently that made him love Karasuno in a way he never felt at Kitagawa Daiichi?

It isn’t until a few days later, when he’s watching Daichi threaten to kick Tanaka off his 3-on-3 team for the waterballoon incident last week that Kageyama realises what's different. It’s _him._

Somewhere between being dropped by one team and trying desperately to force his way onto another, he’d instead settled comfortably in a place made for him, a place that he’d had to work tooth and nail to earn- something he’d never thought he’d have to do at volleyball, but it was _worth_ it, worth more than any decision he’s made so far. Hinata helped, of course, Kageyama doubts he’d be where he is now without the two of them driving each other forward every time they play. It’s strange to think of how much he competes with someone who’s on his team, but at the same time it only feels natural. Kageyama thinks about it as he watches Tanaka beg and Daichi try not to smile, and thinks that he was pretty lucky to have ended up at Karasuno.

* * *

Hinata has started spending a lot of time with Yachi. Kageyama isn’t sure how he feels about that. It’s possible that he has a crush on her, and that he’s trying to find a way to confess, but Hinata never talks about girls except that one time he mentioned offhand that he’s never expected to get a confession because of his height. Something about that doesn’t sit right with Kageyama, but it’s the only thing he has to go on right now.

Hinata never says anything about it, and Kageyama is, to his own surprise, too shy to ask. It doesn’t interfere with their volleyball practices, even at lunchtime Yachi will watch and sometimes furiously scribble in a notebook as she watches but she never tries to distract or stop them and that is something Kageyama appreciates.

After a while, Kageyama realises this isn’t a temporary thing and starts making an effort to talk to Yachi. She seems just as surprised as he is at his own effort to ask her about her day but quickly recovers, and Kageyama soon realises with unabashed pleasure that he’s made another friend.

* * *

 

Kageyama can’t remember exactly when Hinata started dropping by unannounced at his house to squeeze in even more practice, but it isn’t very long at all after that that Kageyama starts doing the same to him. Sometimes, when they’re both too tired or have too much homework they won’t play but watch TV instead or help Natsu with her colouring (Kageyama refuses to admit this took place, or that he secretly loved every second of it, but he’s pretty sure Hinata knows).

It’s on one of these drop-in visits that he finds out Hinata’s... _secret_. He immediately feels bad when he realises he’s staring and does his best to avoid looking at Hinata’s chest. Or his face. Or making any kind of eye contact with Hinata at all, really, because he obviously wasn’t meant to know and now what is he supposed to say?

“I’m a boy,” Hinata says, and Kageyama is too surprised to respond for a moment, because he’d never thought otherwise, not even when he’d seen Hinata in his binder because Hinata laughing loudly, eating messily, Hinata running from one side of the court to the other with that determined expression, Hinata the _boy_ being the only Hinata he had ever known.

“Who else knows?” he can’t help asking, because it is the question that has been eating at him this whole walk and he _has_ to know if he’s the only one who didn’t know, if he’s been left out and rejected once again. Yachi knowing isn’t really a surprise, it’s the answer to a question he’d almost forgotten, but finding out that Hinata hadn’t been planning on confessing is a subtle relief. Ennoshita...well, that’s just another piece of the puzzle found. A sudden spark of inspiration hits Kageyama and yet another mystery is solved- why Hinata always changes in the stall.

“I just thought you were shy or had a weird birthmark but I didn’t want to say anything.” Kageyama immediately wants to take it back, worried that he’d offended Hinata or hurt his feelings. Determined to make sure this isn’t the case, and to let Hinata know that he can trust him, he looks down and gathers his courage, because he cannot let his words fail him now.

“I won’t tell,’ he says quietly. “I mean- you can trust me. I won’t tell anyone you’re- you’re a boy.” Hinata’s expression immediately smoothes out and Kageyama’s chest feels light because for once, he’s actually said the right thing and it feels _good_.

“I wanted to tell you,” Hinata says. “I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t find the right time, or the right words.” Kageyama feels warm, and wants to tell Hinata that he doesn’t care, that it doesn’t matter that he hadn’t told him because what matters is that Hinata had _wanted_ to tell him but he’s too afraid to try in case he ruins it now-

“I wondered about Yachi,” and where did _that_ come from? “But I thought you had a crush on her or something.” Kageyama feels his cheeks burn and wonders how he’s going to salvage _this_.

“ _You’re_ the one who makes me invincible,”  Hinata says firmly, and Kageyama can feel himself smiling.

The rest of the walk to the courts is filled with an argument about how weird a birthmark would have to be for someone to hide it so religiously, and it’s not at all how Kageyama expected his evening to go but he wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

* * *

Kageyama knows now, and he thinks that instead of pretending he doesn’t, maybe it would be better to use that knowledge to help Hinata instead. That’s what friends do, right? At least he thinks so. He asks Yachi, and she thought so, and she definitely had more experience than him. So he starts keeping tampons and painkillers in his bag, and a few in his locker, because he knows Hinata well enough to know that Hinata is the type to forget these things, and well, since Kageyama isn’t, he might as well be prepared.

Some days, Hinata doesn’t talk much at all and those days are so jarring that Kageyama will do his best to fill the silence so Hinata doesn’t feel any worse than he already does because if there’s one thing Hinata can’t stand, it’s things being too quiet. And if Hinata isn’t speaking, and Kageyama isn’t speaking, then it’s too quiet. Sometimes, though, Kageyama can tell words aren’t what Hinata needs so instead they’ll sit and pass a volleyball back and forth, and it seems to help, and for that, Kageyama is grateful.

* * *

Nowadays, the first thought on Kageyama’s mind when he wakes up isn’t always volleyball. Sometimes, it’s breakfast, or his whether or not he’s done all his homework, or even Hinata. The days that it’s the latter, he’ll text Hinata while he’s getting ready and try not to feel too pleased at the speed at which he receives a response, even when he knows it means Hinata’s going to be late meeting him at the corner because Hinata _cannot_ multitask.

* * *

Hinata confides in him that he’s worried about the others finding out and kicking him off the team and Kageyama can only focus on the injustice of it because Hinata _loves_ volleyball and he’s actually starting to get _good_ , and why should it matter because Hinata is a _boy_ , right?

“That wouldn’t be fair,” Kageyama can’t help frowning.  “I’d quit if they made you stop.” He isn’t sure where that came from, but he means it, and he isn’t sure when he started feeling like that either and he doesn’t know if he wants to change it. The staring is starting to make him a little uncomfortable, though, and Kageyama is finally starting to understand what Hinata’s spent months trying to explain.

“Kageyama,” Hinata stares. “You _love_ volleyball.” This is true, Kageyama can’t deny that. But he also can’t deny that he doesn’t really want to play volleyball with a team that wouldn’t let Hinata play, isn’t sure if he wants to keep playing a sport that Hinata cannot play because he is a boy and _it’s just not fair_.

“It’d be wrong of them to make you stop over something like that,” he fidgets. “It wouldn’t make sense anyways.”

“You’d really do that?” Kageyama decides that it would be polite to pretend not to notice Hinata’s crying, and instead searches for something to say that would put his mind at rest.

“Dumbass,” The familiar insult comes almost too easily, but he says it as softly as he knows how. “You’re the only one who can hit my tosses, who else would I toss to?”

Hinata smiles through his not-tears and Kageyama smiles back.

* * *

The weekend after losing a practice match against Fukurodani, Daichi holds a bootcamp that starts at six in the morning and doesn’t end until the sun is starting to sink below the horizon. With only a few short breaks in the day, they’re all tired, sweaty, and starving.

In a show of mercy, Daichi decides to treat them to meat buns.

The whole team is there, scattered on the quiet street outside the shop as Daichi passes out the buns. Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita are engaged in a furious competition of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Tanaka and Noya have linked their arms and are trying to convince a terrified Asahi to sit, with Suga quietly cheering them on. Dachi is pretending not to notice but he’s starting to look like he wishes he had a first aid kit.

Ukai, Takeda, and Kiyoko are all talking quietly, while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi whisper together, hands over their mouths.

Kageyama is holding Hinata and Yachi’s meant buns hostage, hands held high over his head and trying not to laugh at their efforts at retrieving them.

“Hinata!” The orange haired boy’s head whips around, searching for the sudden shout. “Hinata, it is you!” A girl wearing the uniform of a school a few streets away is steadily walking towards them. “Nobody’s hair is as bright as yours!”

“Kimiko-san?” Hinata’s voice comes out a little wobbly and Kageyama’s got a bad feeling about this.

The girl keeps walking closer. “It’s so good to see you Tsubasa-chan!” Kimiko exclaims and Kageyama’s heart stops because he knows what this means. Out of the corner of his eye he can see the others frowning in confusion.

“Tsubasa-chan?” Suga remarks curiously.

The girl, Kimiko, finally notices the others’ curious looks and misinterprets them entirely.

“We went to elementary school together,” She smiles innocently. “Though we lost contact after we went to different middle schools.” Hinata still doesn’t say anything and Kageyama is starting to panic- should he do something? What should he say?

“You cut your hair,” she tries again. “I remember when we both swore we’d grow it all the way down to our waists.” Kageyama tries and fails to picture Hinata with long hair; the image is simply too strange to him. “Guess that didn’t really work out for either of us, huh, Tsubasa?”

“Actually,” Hinata clears his throat. “It’s Shouyou now.” Kimiko’s hands fly to her mouth.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She sounds genuinely apologetic. “I didn’t know!” The sound of footsteps echo down the now even quieter street, and a girl wearing Kimiko’s uniform appears.

“Kimiko!” Kimiko turns, cheeks red. “We need to go or we’ll be late!”

“It was nice seeing you again,” Kimiko says quietly. “Really...Shouyou.”

Karasuno is quiet. For a moment, the only sound is a few leaves shuffling amongst themselves in the wind, and Kageyama realises he’s still holding the meat buns.

Then Tanaka is ruffling Hinata’s hair and saying “No offense, but I think Asahi’s hair is long enough for all of us,” and Kageyama cannot believe the relief he is feeling.

“You’re not mad?” Hinata asks, and Kageyama tenses again. “That I didn’t tell you?”

“What, that you had a bad sense of style?” Tsukishima snorts. “Please, I think we all realised that a long time ago. Besides, pink would clash horribly with your hair.” Kageyama subconsciously files away that sentence to laugh about later.

“Are you really in a position to mock someone’s hairstyle, Tanaka?” Asahi asks irritably, and then immediately turns bright red. “I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to say that out loud!”

Noya laughs so hard he almost chokes.

* * *

Later, as he waits patiently for Hinata so they can walk home, he sees Daichi clap him on the shoulder.

“This doesn’t change anything,” he says quietly, eyes serious. “We’re your teammates, but we’re also your friends, and we’ll support you no matter what.”

Hinata cries and Kageyama wordlessly hands him a tissue.

 

As they walk home, just the two of them, Hinata tangles his fingers together with Kageyama’s, and Kageyama knows exactly what to say.

 ******  
**

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and criticism would really be appreciated!! xx
> 
> find me on tumblr at bluewriters


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